But God had a different plan

I've already tried to write this post once & it just didn't seem right. So I'm trying again & hope I can do it justice & get out what I've been feeling.
I'm sure by now everyone knows that I was pregnant. And they also know that we found out that our baby stopped growing. Many thought that I miscarried. Well, I didn't. I think my body tried but couldn't do it. So on Tuesday of this week I had a D&C (dilation & curettage). It's a simple & quick surgery where the doctor removes what it left, which was mostly the gestational sac & the beginning of a developing placenta. I was very nervous but between my very supportive husband, family members, friends, & church family I had so much prayer & encouragement surrounding me. I also had a wonderful doctor & nursing staff that saw this not as just the end of a pregnancy & some tissue to remove but as a death in our family & knew how sensitive this is.
I am healing well as far as I can tell right now. I will go back in a week to be sure everything was taken care of. And then we will wait until we have the ok from our doctor to try to start a family again. We would still like to keep that time frame to ourselves like we did the first time as it is just very personal. Plus, now that we've been through a loss we will always have that fear of it happening again.
Now I don't know why God allowed this to happen to us. But I haven't questioned it. I wanted to but I know that He has a plan for us that we just can't understand. I know that I am now part of that group of women that knows how to sympathize with others who go through this kind of loss. It helped me so much to know so many women who've been through this, too. You realize that how you feel is completely normal & know that someone else has felt the way you do. And since I also had to go through a medical procedure, I can comfort another woman who may have to go through one just as I was comforted.
Mother's Day was a very difficult day for me. I didn't realize it until sitting in church & the mothers were acknowledged. I know that I am a mother now but knowing that the one I am a mother to is one that I can't see was just painful. But again I had wonderful friends at church to comfort me & know that it was a hard day for me.
I just want to thank everyone for praying for me. Most people have said they're sorry & knew nothing they'd say can make it better. But just knowing that people are praying for me helps so much. It's only by the grace of God that I have recovered to the point that I have. Please continue the pray for Jeremy & I as we continue to heal & plan for our future.