Forgiveness

I've recently found something in my life that I've been struggling with. I've mentioned one struggle before here & I am still working through that. It is a day to day issue.

Now I've been greatly convicted in the area of withholding forgiveness.

Just admitting of that is humbling already. Jeremy & I had a talk about it on Sunday & we learned that it was something we were both being convicted of at the same time but didn't say anything until now.

And what great wrong was done to me to cause me to hold a grudge? Well, I'm not going into details because then I'd be getting into gossip & that would be a whole new sin!

But in a nut shell (sorta) I was let down by some friends for a very special "event" in our lives. I was hurt. And I was mad. Mad to tears. Mad to the point that I let it take the place of the excitement of the "event". And I said I had had enough & was tired of trying & I had reached out for the last time. I didn't want to be let down anymore.

So I just let it stew in me. I wasn't going to try to be a friend to anyone who isn't going to be a friend to me. (*Looking back now I realize how high school my attitude sounds!)

Then while on vacation in Michigan we were in Jeremy's brother's Sunday School class for his teens. He was speaking on what it is to be a Christian & brought up forgiveness & asking how Christ-like is it to not forgive someone just because they do you wrong.

Ugh! That hit home! It's amazing how when there's something in your life that you're dealing with that God brings just the right message to speak to you.

What my brother-in-law said stayed with me for 2 weeks. I know what he said is right but then the flesh starts kicking in again & says, "But look what was done to you! Why should you forgive?"

Why? Because God forgave me. He chose to save a worthless sinner like me. How can I not forgive someone for wronging me? Something that is so petty compared to all that God forgave me of.

You wanna talk about being humbled, well there ya go! Just when you think you're doing pretty good in your Christian life you realize you are so far from being what you should be.

Now, I'm not so bold as to say I've forgiven & moved on. The flesh is still there. And I'm still reminded of the wrong that was done. But I'm also reminded of God's forgiveness & I am continually humbled by that. I am seeking His strength as I continue working through this & ask that I may be used to help minister to someone else who struggles with bitterness as well.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, even as God in Christ forgave you." ~Eph. 4:32